Oh Boy, Oh Boy And Again Oh Boy!

No, our cantering circles are still not existing but I have decided to put them aside until I have fixed some other things. I think I started to think a little bit to much direct line lately... oh boy...
I put alot of thoughts in those cantering circles lately. I actually dream about them.
Remember when I mentioned that Milva turned into a taskmistress and "offering" all kind of different things at the same time. Oh well, guess where she got it from. Talking about your horse is your mirror. Dah, think Marion!! All that pawing she started with and doing the compliment furiosly...oh boy, oh boy... I clearly put the tasks in front of everything else, like the relationship. Just because I want to film level 3 online as soon as possible...oh boy, oh boy...
I have all the theory and principles in my head and I know so well to put the relationship first, but no, what do I do. Canter Milva, canter, so we get it done with.
When I watch other people I often see what they are doing "wrong" or how they use the "wrong" approach. Of course I don´t say anything, I wouldn´t dream about that but still, how is the saying going with the stone and the glasshouse. Oh boy - again.
I honestly don´t know where it came from. With a different awareness and plan I drove to the stable early this morning after dropping Shawn of at school.
I had a view butterflies in my stomache when I approached the turnout stable - and they were not the good ones. But Milva still greated me with a nicker and a whinney and gladly left her morning hay and her friends to come to me. Oh boy, isn´t it amazing how forgiving our horses are??
In her usual way she volonteraly lowered her head and put it in the halter. So maybe I didn´t screw up so much after all? She waited for my sign to leave the stable and continued her breakfast outside.
While filling up water to all three turnout stables and cleaning out our stable I stopped next to her and chatted with her, waiting for her to touch me first and being aware of her personal space, her bubble. I sware her face expression changed.
When giving her a soft brush - she is shedding alot right now, I was aware of every little sign of her. I have to admit that sometimes I continue her brushing even though she shows so clearly that she is not happy with it, sometimes she even walks away. But I just ignored it and brought her back and brushed her anyway. Not today though, I truly put my heart in my hand and guess what, she didn´t walk away once and no angry face either. She just stood there and turned her face around a few times to sniff me. Oh boy.
To break our rutin I took her for a 20min walk down the dirt road. Walking in z3, cause that´s where I´m going to be when I ride her. I started to walk on the left side cause that is easier for me but had in my mind to change side on the way back. When we came to our first threshold I retreated, approached, retreated and approached again - all from z3 and then we walked through it. We stopped turned around and waited...and waited. When she blew out air and started to chew I changed side and we walked back, still driving her from z3.
Instead of heading straight to the ridinghouse I asked her to put her front legs on the stone pedestal and then yoyo her in to the ridinghouse. So far so good.
I tried to hold on to that mental stage I was in and not to get direct line now. I could feel it coming up in my blood, those predator thoughts.
Gently I asked her to back up and to circle slowly to the left, asked her gently to stop and waited...cause guess what, yes, I did make her walk on rather quick after stopping. Hm, wonder if that has something to do with her not standing relaxed when I mount her. Oh boy, doesn´t it all go hand in hand.
Yes, so I waited her and see there, she started to chew and yawn and blow out air. I asked her softly to walk on, change of direction and the same on the other lead and that was it for today. Going back with her to the stable. No angry dragon face once today.
I guess I still have a long way to go...
picture is taken summer 2009